These jokes are rated PG. Lets get that out of the way right now. If you want dirty jokes  about how cold it is you'll have to find them yourself... then send them to me.

This week temperatures are about to hit an all time low for 2021. In a few places they might actually set records. To help you make it through here are some of the best 'It's So Cold Out...' jokes I could find.

  • The rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
  • Richard Simmons wearing shorts that come nearly to the half-thigh region.
  • Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
  • You have to break the smoke off your chimney
  • You have to open the fridge to heat the house
  • Your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass
  • Police tell a robber to freeze, and he does
  • Our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
  • People look forward to getting a fever
  • Mailmen watch out for dogs and polar bears
  • I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office.
  • We had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post
  • Refrigerators are redundant
  • Pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils and penguins
  • Lady Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
  • Prisoners are begging for the electric chair.
  • Roosters are rushing into KFC and begging to use the pressure cooker!
  • A streaker froze in mid-streak! Mayor Mitchell hung a plaque around his neck...so we have to pretend he's a statue until Spring.
  • I chipped my tooth on my soup.
  • Dunkin' Donuts is serving coffee on a stick.
  • We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
  • I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
  • I actually saw a gangsta pull up his pants.
  • I'm drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
  • Ice cubes are coming out of my faucet.
  • Trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
  • Cops are tasering themselves.
  • I farted snowflakes.
  • Even Elsa is bothered by it.
  • I'm thankful for hot flashes.
  • Donald Trump's hair froze in place.
  • Miley Cyrus had to put her clothes back on.
  • I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
  • The ice cubes in my drink have goose bumps.

BONUS VIDEO: Dean Martin - Baby It's Cold Outside.

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