Famous Yellowstone Bison Gets Early Start On Bucket List
"We all have to set life goals," said Bongo.
Bongo is a bison that makes its home in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming.
Don't call him a buffalo. He hates that.
"There's a big difference between a bison and a buffalo," explains Bongo, "You humans can read, but you can't bother to look that up?"
Each year Bongo makes a list of what he wants to dispatch during tourist season.
So far this year he's chased a guy who wanted to pose with him for a selfie and ripped apart a 1992 Ford Fiesta.
"I don't always put more stuff on the list," explains Bongo, "It's really a matter of quality over quantity."
"Round-rumped women in tight spandex are always on the list. It's more of a matter of how round the rump, and what obnoxious patterns are the spandex she's wearing."
I asked Bongo if there was any prize money or maybe a trophy for achieving his goals.
"Oh, I get some accolades from my fellow bison and some other Yellowstone animals. But mostly it's just about setting personal goals and living up to them. What's life if you're not always trying to up your game and better yourself."
Bongo then pointed out the many other bison in the herd that just seem to stand around all day, doing nothing.
"Honestly, how is that a life?" he asked.
I then asked Bongo what was next on his list, or, did he have something that he's always wanted to get but has not had the chance yet."
"Always wanted to head-butt a reporter about a mile."
In case you haven't guessed, I'm writing this story about Bongo from a hospital bed.