Jackson, Wyoming To Secede From Union After Election

This is a satirical piece meant for entertainment purposes only. If you don't have a sense of humor, move on.

Nearly all of Teton County voted for Kamala Harris.

After Trump's landslide win, there is talk of secceeding and declaring their own country.

"We are surrounded," said the mayor of Jackson Hole. "Thankfully, mountains protect us on all sides."

On the political map, Teton County is a blue dot in the red of Wyoming.

If you look at the map below you'll see that they are surrounded by red on all sides, including Montana, Idaho, and Utah.

"Thankfully we have enough money to do whatever we want," the mayor continued.

Teton County is the richest county in America.

The stories you hear about the billionaires pushing out the millionaires are quite literally true.

"We would have an armed rebellion," the mayor said, puffing out his chest. "But we are liberals, we don't believe in guns. But that's okay, we have lawyers and lots of them."

Many Hollywood liberals said they way would leave the country if Trump was elected. They may not have to go any further than Teton County Wyoming, providing they have the money to move there.

Below is an actual photo of Teton County lawyers writing up their Declaration of Independence. (No it's not).

"I heard some actress who is worth about five million dollars wanted to move out here," said the mayor.

We told her no.

Can't have this place turned into a slum.

What was she going to do? Live in a tiny 10 bedroom 8 bath house?

Come to think of it, have you seen the prices of homes in Teton County these days? Only thing $5 mill can buy is a siglewide trailer.

We won't let this place become a trailer park like the rest of Wyoming."

As you read this Teton County Wyoming is assembling an army to fight for its independence from Wyoming, and America.

No, not tanks and planes.

5000 BMWs and a fleet of corporate jets have arrived at the Jackson Hole airport carrying blue-suited lawyers.

Let the battle begin.