Silly Way To Tell If You’re About To Be Mauled At Yellowstone

Let's say you're new to Wyoming or just visiting and want to take some photos of its wildlife.

How close is safe?

This handy visual guide from Yellowstone National Park should help you.

Hold your arm up.

Imagine your elbow on the horizon.

Does the animal fit inside the area from your elbow to your hand?

GOOD, then you should be fine.

If the animal is close enough that it takes your entire body to measure it, you're probably in big trouble.

This is a funny way to look at it, but it's also accurate.

Have a look below at what happens when you get too close to Wyoming's wonderful wildlife.

It's rodeo season in Wyoming.

Tourists visiting the Cowboy State for the first time love to go and witness these authentic events in person.

Why stop there?

Why not have a rodeo just for tourists?

Better yet, let's call it The Wyoming Tourist Olympics

Real rodeo comes from the work the cowboys and girls actually do on the ranch.

So let's have some tourist events that do the same for them.

We'll start with GRIZZLY WRESTLING!

Much like learning to land an airplane, you win if you can walk away.

FLUFFY COW PETTING!

The goal is to approach a fluffy cow and get it to stand there and let you pet it while you take a selfie.

Points off for getting stomped, tromped, head-butted, or gored.

OFF THE BEATEN PATH CONTEST

This is for tourists who ignore the signs to stay on marked trails, get lost, and then spend weeks trying to find their way back.

Again, if you live you win.

ACID POOL SWIM!

Contestants will dive into a thermal pool, again one that has been clearly marked as dangerous with DO NOT signs, and if they can make it to the other side without dying, they win.

Wyomingites can bet on who will live and who will die at the Wind River Hotel and Casino.