How often do you blame yourself for that embarrassing spelling or grammar mistake on social media? Those trolls out there giving you a hard time are no help.

Sure, it is important to pay attention to what you are writing. But it's not all your fault. English sucks. Especially American English.

As I pointed out in my post about the dictionary, Websters is only making things worse.

Recently a friend of mine sent me a few more examples of the horrible suckage that is our modern English language.


The bandage was wound around his wound.
The farm was cultivated to produce produce.
The dump was so full that the workers had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture shown at the store.
He could lead if he could get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his tasty dessert in the desert.
Time to present the present the present to his girlfriend.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object which he showed me.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid in his hospital bed.
There was a row among the oarsmen about who would row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does many things when the does (females) are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail around the mast.
Upon seeing the tear in her painting, she shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Here's one of my own -- TWO, TOO, & TO -- That's two too many to's.

To be fair, American English is such a mess because we are a melting pot of so many different languages. That is why I advocate for a single version of American English. One that is based on phonetics and is easy to read, write, and understand. But to achieve this we would have to get those idiots at Websters back on board with holding the line on what a word means.

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