Let’s All Agree To Forget Wyoming’s Lamest G.I. Joe Action Figure
If you're looking at this action figure and thinking, WOW THAT IS UGLY, you'd be correct. That is just UGLY!
Say hello to "Steve Wyoming".
So, what is a Steve Wyoming?
From Lanard CORPS! action figure series’ comes this strange sports-themed, um... thing, they named Steve Wyoming.
He's supposed to be a play on Joe Montana. He is a G.I. Joe action figure. So he's supposed to be a military badass.
He has the number 34 plastered on his helmet and backpack. This may be a reference to his jersey number. But isn’t 34 a number reserved for running backs and defensive backs? Now I'm really confused.
The bio for this... thing... says that Mr. Wyoming is an All-Pro quarterback.
But he is so much more.
He’s also a PhD in mathematics and an aeronautical engineer.
Yeah, right, sure he is. That's why he goes into battle SHIRTLESS!
Shirtless but wearing shoulder pads?
So is he a superhero or an athlete? Maybe an athlete who is a super soldier?
He looks a little like Bullet Man from GI Joe.
What's with that odd single star on his torso, which hovers close to the nipple area? That's creepy.
The pictures you see here are found on eBay.
They include a backpack and something that looks like a gun. An energy weapon of some kind.
A careful search of the internet came up with NOTHING about him.
He never appeared in any comics or on TV cartoons.
GI-Joe action figures have created as many variants as they could think of to try to reach as much interest in buyers, mostly kids, as they could.
ACTUALLY - there are a few superheroes from Wyoming that are pretty cool.
In the comics, on TV shows and in the movies we see most superheroes in big cities. That makes sense. That's where most of the crime is. That also gives them plenty of rooftops to jump across and edges of skyscrapers to stand atop and brood from.
But what about low-population states like Wyoming? Does a state with just over 500,000 people need superheroes? Did any superheroes come from here?
Follow the links I provide for pictures and backstories of the characters I found.
The first Wyoming superhero did not have any superpowers, but he did fight alongside Batman and Superman. He was a cowboy, of course. Bill Polk, the Wyoming Kid. Once Wyoming Kid cover shows the classic Wyoming Cowboy riding a bronco as Batman and Robin open the gate and Superman cheers him on. He was the son of a sheep farmer during the Johnson County War. When Bill's father was murdered Bill took off after the culprit and so began his career as a crime fighter.
Another Wyoming Superhero vigilante is also a cowboy. The original Vigilante debuted in Action Comics #42 (Nov. 1941). Greg Sanders's grandfather was a Native American fighter. His father was a sheriff in Wyoming. As a boy, Saunders moved to New York City and became a country singer, radio's "Prairie Troubadour." Greg returned to his home after his father was killed and brought justice to the bandits who killed him. The character was later portrayed in the modern television animated series Justice League. Watch Vigilante sing a song about Batman, as Batman fights on the street at high noon. One YouTuber created a tribute to the Vigilante comics, which you can watch here.
But not all Wyoming superheroes are cowboys, and not all are men. Meet Songbird, in the Marvel universe.
Melissa Gold (Songbird) grew up in Shoshoni, Wyoming. When she was a child her mother was sent to prison for robbery, and her father was an abusive drunk. She ran away from home and grew up on the streets, adopting a life of crime to survive.
Melissa was rescued by a criminal named Zemo who trained her and gave her Klaw's Sonic Horn. In time, her powers became rather like Green Lantern of DC comics, as she could imagine whatever she wanted to fight with and it would project in front of her. Melissa adopted the identity of Songbird. After the team disbanded following an altercation with the Avengers, she switched sides and became a hero. Melissa joined a new incarnation of the Thunderbolts.
You can watch a video about the history of Songbird here. You can play her character which is featured in video games.
Some heroes simply visit Wyoming for a time. Usually to get away from it all and decompress.
The Teen Titans, a group made up of all the sidekicks of the major superheroes than grew up and became just The Titans. Two of the older Titan characters Hawk & Dove tried to retire from the hero business and bought a cabin in Wyoming. But Dove could not give up on crime-fighting. In one episode, she slips out at night to shut down a Wyoming meth lab. Shortly after, a supervillain blows up their cabin. They then leave Wyoming for San Francisco to track the villain down.
So, you see, Wyoming has had superheroes. They just don't find enough crime in the state to stay here.
Devils Tower As Seen From The Mother Ship
Gallery Credit: Glenn Woods
Best Wyoming Sports Moments From WyoPreps
Gallery Credit: Glenn Woods