I can think of a few excuses to give a police officer if I was going - lets say - 6 miles an hour over the speed limit. Maybe 8 over. But what the hell does a person say when caught going 68 mph over?

First, lets look at excuses that didn't work. I looked up the best and lamest excuses ever given to the police for going crazy fast. Here is what I found on the website PoliceOne.com.

1. A drunk guy told told a cop he was pregnant then urinated all over himself claiming his water broke.

2.  "Didn't the speed limit sign say 95? I am so glad you didn't catch me earlier. I was going much faster than that." Okay that guy is not even trying to think of an excuse. Forget him, lets move on.

3. "I wasn't speeding, I just got a haircut and it makes me look fast." Funny and lame at the same time.

4. "I know I was going fast. How else am I supposed to get all this snow off my windshield?"

5. "My car has a recall on it for unexplained acceleration problem and I am driving to get it fixed right now."

6. "I have a cold and when I cough, my foot mashes the pedal."

7. A guy once told a cop that he just wanted to get to McDonalds before the breakfast menu ended. I bet the clock ran out on that while the officer wrote him up.

8) "I wasn't speeding, I was qualifying." Yes, someone actually said that to a cop.

According to the website PoliceOne.com there have been a few excuses that have actually worked.

1. The officer said: "You were flying, unless you have a pilot’s license, you are going to jail." Yes, he handed me a pilot's license. Yes, I let him go. — Officer Chuck Ervin

2. One officer told the story of how he stopped a lady who was crying. He asked what the problem was. She said she had gone shopping for the first time after having a baby and nothing fit right. He handed her her license back and slowly backed away. "Nothing good was coming from this!"

3. "I was just keeping the 2 second buffer time between me and the car behind me." "There was no one behind you." "Good job, huh?"

4. I got tagged for doing 54 in a 45 years back. The officer laughed when he told me and I said that my dyslexia was acting up again. (You know, I might be able to use that one myself.)

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