Wyoming Helium Plant Leak Leaves Everyone Talking Funny

This story is SATIRE. If you don't understand SATIRE, then please move on.

This first part is true:

There are plans to build a new helium plant in South West Wyoming.

Helium is used for a lot of things, not just party balloons.

Wyoming Already Produces 20% Of The World’s Helium, And Likely Has A Lot More.

The rest of this story is B.S. 

Now and then, there is a leak at Wyoming's current helium plant.

The workers know it because they all start talking funny.

The workers will quickly shut down the leak, but then they will rush into town for lunch at the local diner and wait for the wind to carry the gas their way.

They giggle at each other as the waitress starts talking like a chipmunk.

"DAMIT," she yells. "Should have known the moment I saw you guys pull into town."

Two helium plants in Wyoming will mean twice the fun.

Imagine driving across the state when suddenly everybody in the car starts talking funny.

Imagine watching the confused tourist.

Helium plants don't often have leaks.

Sometimes they happen because the plant workers are bored.

They have also been seen trying to pump helium into whatever they can think of to see if it will float.

One time, they floated an entire herd of cows.

The local rancher was PISSED. Good thing there wasn't any Wyoming wind that day.

Now, back to the truth.

The gas is also used as a coolant for rockets and semiconductors.

You'll find it in many medical devices, including magnetic resonance imaging machines.

Just to name a few uses.

On Earth, in places like Wyoming, the most significant source of helium is recovered from natural gas deposits.