Wyoming’s Best Saterical Site NAILS It Again

Casper Planet is on a roll.

Their past few posts have caused outrageous laughter from those who get it and outrage from those who did not get the joke.

Casper Planet is a satirical social media page out of Casper, Wyoming.

THEY HAVE DONE IT AGAIN.

This time with a tag permitting tourists to pet at least one fluffy animal in Yellowstone.

Below is the post from the Casper Planet Facebook Page.

Yellowstone to Sell “Petting Tags” This Season, Visitors Without One May Be Fling-Fodder

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK –In a bold new initiative aimed at boosting tourism and thinning out the overly curious, Yellowstone National Park announced it will begin selling “Petting Tags” for the 2025 season.
These exclusive passes allow visitors to legally pet one big game animal of their choice—provided they can catch it.The base-level tag grants one pet of a single animal such as a bison, elk, or grizzly bear (only if it’s having a nap or experiencing a full-body existential crisis).

For those with deeper pockets and even less survival instinct, the “Dream Petting Tag” gives full access to pet any animal in the park, including apex predators and bald eagles mid-flight.

“This is all about connecting people with nature,” said park spokesperson Tammy Dribble. “And by ‘connecting,’ we mean physically, emotionally, and possibly with blunt force trauma.”

The tags start at $129.99, while the Dream Petting Tag comes in at $799 or two truck payments in the Greater Billings area. A special Family 4-Pack includes complimentary first-aid kits and a waiver that reads “YOLO.”

But be warned: petting animals without a valid tag will now result in the perpetrator being flung by a trained buffalo, an enforcement technique piloted last fall with “highly effective and educational” results.

“We had one guy from New Jersey try to pet a moose without a tag,” said Dribble. “He got airborne over Old Faithful and left the park spiritually humbled and missing a shoe.”

Park rangers have been outfitted with tranquilizer-free whistles to signal “petting zones,” while wildlife is being conditioned with peanut butter-scented rocks to encourage passive interaction.

Yellowstone insists the program is about conservation and connection, not about the sick thrill of watching a tourist try to high-five a bear.

“We want people to feel the wild,” said Dribble, “preferably with all limbs intact.”
Tags go on sale May 3.
Helmet not included.