Wyoming towns have a turkey problem.

Blame the people who brought turkeys to Wyoming, so they could hunt them.

Turkeys are not native to this state.

Ask folks in many Wyoming towns about their turkey problems and they will tell you some stories.

Most folks want them GONE!

It is now illegal to feed the turkeys inside the Buffalo Wyoming city limits.

The Buffalo City Council unanimously approved an ordinance. That should tell you that the folks in Buffalo have had just about enough of these annoying birds.

Honestly, turkeys have an attitude problem. Have you ever noticed?

Mayor Shane Schrader jokingly called Resolution 1413 “the turkey ordinance."

If you are caught leaving feed out for those birds it's now a $750 in fine.

According to the local newspaper, the Buffalo Bulletin, Buffalo's game warden Jim Seeman said he counted almost 100 turkeys in the flock that had been causing trouble recently.

Turkey feces is harmful to dogs, according to Pet MD.

They can also carry contagious diseases such as avian influenza, which has spread throughout Wyoming.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, 13 of Johnson County’s wild turkeys have died of avian influenza in the past year. (Buffalo Bulletin). 

Game and Fish has spent several weeks harassing the birds, using techniques such as making loud noises, shooting pellet guns near the birds and herding them to different locations, hoping to convince them to turn tail and find a new home. (Buffalo Bulletin). 

That plan seems to be working. There are fewer flocks in the area now. But still way too many.

Why do they insist on hanging out around town?

Why can't these turkeys just move up into the hills?

It's like that annoying relative that just won't leave after Thanksgiving dinner is over. (Weird, Thanksgiving is a turkey reference, isn't it?)

Turkey Attacks Cycle YouTube Screen Grab

This year there is actually a shortage of turkeys at the grocery store.

WELL, THAT'S JUST FINE! We have a few around Wyoming that need KILLING!

That's not a mean thing to say. They've been asking for it.

Turkeys are not even indigenous to Wyoming. They were brought here and set free so some hunters could enjoy hunting them.

But now we are stuck with them. They are in our neighborhoods, and frankly, THEY ARE JUST JERKS!

There is a bit of a turkey shortage this year at the grocery store. I hope you manage to get one. If you don't, not to worry, I can point out where you can find some, easily.


Wild Turkeys or Geese
TOXIBARBIE via Twitter &
Leslie Kelly

The scene in the photo above, actually fighting off one of these &$#@ attacking a biker at a traffic light. This is not an unusual sight.

A person can't even go for a walk without being charged by at least half a dozen of these little &%$#. 

They attack kids, old people, and pets.

I swear all the gobbling they do is actually cussing. 

ViralHog via YouTube
ViralHog via YouTube

Look at them attacking this Amazon driver for no good reason.

They poop all over everything. I mean LOTS of poop and that stuff is hard to clean up.

Pardon my $@#&. I hope we don't have any kids reading this.

Now I know it's not legal to hunt in most neighborhoods. But there are ways around this. I mean, who says you need to use a gun when you have a nice big car to run them over with?

Caters Clips via YouTube
Caters Clips via YouTube

I will gladly loan you my weed eater or any other tool you can find in my garage to have at them.

Actually, I see now why the turkey was eaten on the first Thanksgiving. - REVENGE!

Early this year there was a MOB of $%*@ turkeys attacking cars at an intersection.

It all began just before 8 am when I got a note from Jane in Casper Wyoming: "FYI FYI There are about 30 Wild Turkeys All fanned out and acting aggressively to the cars. At Granada and Coffman!"

I know of the herd of turkeys to which she speaks. They are EVIL!

Getty Images
Getty Images

By the way, I call all animal groups a herd. There is no way to keep up with all of the names of all the different animal species. Try looking it up here. You'll get a headache.

Next, I get a panicked note from Jane which made the situation sound worse- it was escalating.

"They are stopping traffic!" Jane wrote, in what seemed to be a panic. I was expecting her to send that they were turning over cars and setting them on fire next.

This herd of turkey is infamous in Casper. They are more like a gang than birds. If they stop your car don't honk at them. They will get very aggressive. I don't speak turkey but it sounds like they are cussing at people when they get angry.

No one minds wildlife wandering their neighborhood. That is part of the fun of living in Wyoming. But no one wants wildlife with attitude.

Creatas Images, ThinkStock Images

There are many ways we can handle this. I work for a group of radio stations. We can have a turkey drop like WKRP! There are hunters who would love to have a crack at them.

But since the turkeys are in town they can't use guns. It will have to be hand to "hand" combat.

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