Fighting For Left Handed Rights (OPINION)

On my morning radio show I saw a picture of a new mayor being sworn in. He was raising his right hand. I'm sure someone out there saw this and was highly offended.

Now how in the world could that be offensive? 

Obviously it is offensive to left handed people, because someone taking any oath is only allowed to raise their right hand. Are we saying that raising the left hand is a lie? Can you see how that must be very offensive to left handed people?

When we offer a handshake we never use our left hand. It's apparently offensive because it assumes somebody's "handedness."

According to a caller on the topic, the right hand in a handshake dates back to the time of sword fighting. It effort was to show that the hand was not caring a blade. But what if the swordsman was left handed? Well, back in those days left handed people were seen as odd, and it was trained out of a person.

There was a time, not long ago, when left handedness was seen as a bad thing by teachers at all public schools and was trained out of all students. 

Even to this day, in our segregated lefty/righty society, there are left handed stores selling things like left handed scissors to those people that society has "left out" of its manufacturing process.

We read from left to right. We "write" from left to right. Have you ever seen a lefty trying to write, in a right handed world? It is so hard on them. I feel bad.

When someone is correct we tell them that they are "right." How insulting is that to a left handed person?

Sitting at the "Right Hand Of God" is somehow better than sitting at his left. You'll want to be on the "right side of the law." I guess you get arrested for being on the left side.

When we want to praise someone we scream "RIGHT ON!"

We will call a left handed person "lefty," but we never call a right handed person "righty."

That "left" a bad taste in my mouth. But it tasted "right."

She thought he was "Mr. Right," but then he "Left" her.

That boy is just "Not Right."

Don't ever get "Left Behind."

You really don't want to know why you should never hand anything to an Arab with your left hand.

While bringing my listeners up to speed on these societal offenses, I received a call from Charles in Colorado. He admitted to being a lefty. I really stepped in it when I told him that I was fighting for his "rights." LORD I am such an IDIOT!

It is time we Fight for the Rights of the Lefts. No, that's not right.

OH HELL you see the trap we have created

Lets battle for their --- um, honor, and bring justice to the left handed people of the world. All statues that have their right hand raised in the air must come down.

Rise up you lefties! LET US HEAR THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING!

I'm right behind you. - AW dammit. --- Sorry.