Get Your Coronavirus Horoscope Here (SATIRE)

Everyday people all over the world rush to read their daily horoscope, in hopes of receiving a glimpse into what the day might bring them. Perhaps a warning of danger to avoid, or a glimmer of hope.

I'm no expert at reading these star and planet charts, but, due to Coronavirus and all of us being asked to stay home, I think I an manage this one.

Aries, you'll be staying at home.

Taurus, you'll be staying at home.

Gemini, you'll be staying at home. But you are twins, so remember that social distancing thing, even at home.

Cancer, you'll be staying at home.

Leo, you'll be staying at home.

Virgo, you'll be staying at home.

Libra, you'll be staying at home.

Scorpio, you'll be staying at home.

Sagittarius, you'll be staying at home.

Capricorn, you'll be staying at home.

Aquarius, you'll be staying at home.

Pisces, you'll be staying at home.

Well there, that was easy. From this point on if you wonder what your horoscope say just refer back to this chart until the pandemic is over.

--- Glenn Woods