Name a Salmon After Your Ex… Then They’ll Feed it to a Bear
Maybe they kissed like a fish. Maybe they smelled horrible, or were as cold to you as a salmon on ice. Were they raw and fishy, like sushi? Or maybe they just deserve to have their spine ripped out like they ripped out your heart. Don't worry, one Oregon Wildlife Center has your back, and they're ready to help you get vicarious revenge on your ex.
"Did you fall hook, line & sinker for someone who broke your heart?" the promotional image asks, "Kodi and Yak would love to help you get your revenge!" The two bears, Kodi and Yak, ask only for a $20 donation to the wildlife center, and in exchange, they will name a salmon after your ex then devour it on Valentine's Day.
Not only that, but you'll also get a certificate regarding the salmon in question and its fitting name, and photos of Kodi and Yak enjoying the delicious carcass of your ex's namesake fish. It might be a little more expensive than the recent sensation of the Cockroach that can also have your ex's name, but honestly, which is more satisfying? Seeing two grown brown bears eating a salmon, or a cockroach being eaten by a bird?
The Wildlife Images Rehabilitation & Education Center also offers less revenge-filled perks, especially for those who are happily in love. Rather than a salmon, they also offer couple's private encounters with wildlife, or behind the scenes tours of their reserves.
Either way, there's a happy Valentine's Day for anyone!