The “Real” Reason You Can’t Bring A Toaster To A Trump Rally
For those going to the Trump rally this Saturday in Casper, Wyoming, you might have seen the list of things they are asking that you NOT bring, for security reasons.
If you missed that list, you can read that list at this link.
Oddly, on the list of things they don't want you to bring are Appliances (ie - TOASTERS).
My first focus was on the word "appliances."
I'm originally from The South, where people put appliances on their front porch just because they are proud of them. You're high class if you own a GE!
Did Trump do a rally in some southern state and have a bunch of rednecks show up with washers and dryers just to show off their status?
Wyoming sportscaster Frank Gambino suggested that maybe blenders might be a problem. That's true. You can grind up a lot of things in a good blender.
So why did they mention TOASTERS on that list? It's just so ODD!
One listener to the Wake Up Wyoming morning show called in and suggested that toasters can be rigged to set off explosives. He was quite serious.
But even if someone thought to do that, who the heck is going to walk into a Trump rally with a toaster under their arm or in a bag?
I searched the internet for an answer and could not find ANYTHING to explain this.
So- I did what any "reasonably sane" person might do. I MADE SOMETHING UP!
Why you can't bring a toaster to a Trump rally, the tin hat theory.
Early one morning, back when Donald Trump was just a little boy, he woke before everyone else in the house.
Hungry, he wandered into the kitchen. But there were no parents or housekeepers to help him.
"TOAST!" he thought.
But it is so much work to butter and jelly toast after it is cooked. So why not do it before.
From the fridge, he pulled butter and orange marmalade and slathered it all over two slices of bread.
He then lifted the bread with his tiny little hands and dropped two slices into a toaster.
Never put wet stuff into a plugged-in toaster.
B O O M ! ! ! ! !
And that is why, to this day, Trump's hair is ORANGE and Trump is afraid that his enemies might try to fire toast at him from the audience.
Now enjoy this wonderful song about TOAST!