Look at the settings on your toaster. Isn't it nice that you can decide how dark you like your bread?

But there are two settings on there that I'll never understand.

1). Why is there a setting that is so light it basically does nothing? Turn the knob to the far left and your bread is so light it's barely even warm. Honestly, what's the point? You could have just held it between your hands for a couple of minutes and would have gotten the same result. This setting seems like a waste of electricity.

How far you turn the knob to the right determines how crunchy you like your bread. There is no right or wrong answer here.

Well. We don't get to WRONG until we get to that last setting.

2). Why is there a BURT TOAST setting on your toaster? Some toasters even have little pictures showing how dark each setting is. The last setting is clearly black, as in burnt. Not only do I not understand why any toaster manufacturer would provide such a setting, how is it that anyone is actually using it? Just who the hell likes burnt toast?

THEORY: We know that the manufacturer of hotdogs are in cahoots with the bun people. That is why there are more hotdogs in a pack than buns. It makes us buy an extra pack of buns that we do not need. I'm surprised some brilliant bread manufacturer has not thought of selling packs of two extra buns. Or maybe someone did think of it but he was -- dealt with. I think the toaster manufacturers are also in cahoots with the bread makers. The more people burn toast, the more bread they sell.

SOLUTION: I suppose we will never be able to stop those toaster makers from making toasters with a burnt setting on them. There may be no answer to this at all.

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