The Real Reason New Yorkers Die in The Wyoming Wilderness

A headline in The New York Post reads:

‘Vicious’ peacock wreaks havoc on Bronx streets after escaping zoo, biting onlooker in bizarre scene

A local reporter found a man who had been attacked by a bird.

He had stepped outside to smoke something illegal, not judging here, when the bird approached him.

At first, it attacked his pant legs, with no effect.

So, then, it went right up between the man's legs and bit his JUNK!

This is a true story, by the way.

Imagine it from the victim's point of view.

Bad enough he's stoned. The world around him already seems bazar at this point.

Then some colorful bird with a butt full of glowing feathers, that when spread makes the bird look like he had 100 eyes, comes up and bites his JUNK!

“It bit me!” said the victim, who only gave the name Mike while recalling how he thought he was “buggin” when he first saw his fowl attacker strutting a West Farms street just before 8 p.m. Wednesday. (NYP).

New Yorkers are terrified.

This bird has been attacking people all over the city, and everybody is afraid.

If it's not that, it's the rats or other New Yorkers.

The peacock, an escapee from the nearby Bronx Zoo who is now nicknamed Raul, then went on the lam, hiding all night up a tree in the Krystal Community Garden on East 180th Street before finally flying home at 11:19 a.m. Thursday.

Alerts on Citizen had warned that “911 dispatchers state the peacock is very vicious.”  (NYP).

It's no wonder that when these people leave the big city to visit Wyoming's Yellowstone, they get mauled by our fluffy cows. (BISON).

If they can't handle a bird, how are they going to handle real nature?

These people grew up in a Jungle, made of concrete.

They have never really seen stars at night and the only wildlife they have seen is the pet they keep trapped in their tiny NYC apartments, and rats. Lots of rats.

Central Park is about the only green grass they have ever felt under their feet.

No wonder they DIE when they visit Wyoming.