Yellowstone Renamed In An Act Of Brilliant Satire
The woman in the above photo has a DEATH WISH!
Fine, we give up.
No longer will we try to convince tourists to NOT pet the fluffy cows.
Each year so many tourists ignore the signs, brochures, and any other outreach we can think of and get themselves hurt by approaching the wildlife to get a selfie or give a wild beast a hug.
SO a Montana magazine, in a BRILLIANT act of satire, decided to rename the park.
The National Park Service announced today that in an effort to better compete for visitors' attention in the modern era, they are rebranding the park as the Yellowstone National Petting Zoo. (Distincly Montana).
Well, why the hell not?
Let's take a moment and watch the video of that woman who is just begging to get herself mauled.
There were signs LITERALLY all over the place telling her NOT to do this.
A representative from the park said that visitation has been declining over the past several years, and that they hope this change will reverse the trend. To give park visitors what they seem to want most, the park will now encourage guests to approach and pet the wildlife, getting as close as necessary to capture the perfect, envy-inducing selfie that will make their expensive vacation worth the cost.
"We've tried for decades to keep people away from the wildlife," Ralph Frankle, a park spokesperson said. "We've finally given up and decided to just give visitors what they really wanted from a visit to Yellowstone," he added. (Distincly Montana).
Yellowstone is now officially a petting zoo.
Also, a great place to go swimming is scalding hot thermals that will literally boil your skin off with heat and acid.
Just a quick note to this Montana publication: LOVE what you are doing here in this satirical article.
But just remember:
YELLOWSTONE IS PART OF WYOMING!
We just let you folks in Montana take care of the North entrance.