Activists Want To ban Wyoming’s High Capacity Assault Cow

Some big city blue state tourists wanted to come to Wyoming to give nature a hug.

BUT NO!

In Wyoming, they have high-capacity assault cows.

Yeah, those things will wreck your view of the natural world really fast.

Nature, these city folk were told, was supposed to be peaceful and balanced. Perfect in every way.

SO WHY THE VIOLENCE?

Below is a photo of a regular cow.

These cows are considered bad because they fart climate change. 

Yet Wyoming celebrates having these beasts in large numbers, for some reason.

Then we have this thing that is often referred to as a "FLUFFY COW!"

They were here before the white man came.

Even though they also fart climate change it is thought that they are good for the planet anyway because they were here first or something.

But the folks of Wyoming see this beast as a HIGH CAPACITY ASSAULT COW.

That's very dangerous.

Just look at those weapons on the top of its head.

Suddenly the animal that these blue state city folk wanted to return to nature is not seen as desirable anymore.

Just go and try to tell one of these beasts that you love it and watch the reaction you get.

TO THE MOON ALICE!

So just how many other dangerous creatures does Wyoming have? Including all the people with guns?

Come to think of it, the entire state is trying to kill you in some way, or so it seems.

Now more than ever those who live on the east and west coast of the United States think of Wyoming as "Fly Over" country.

It's just too dangerous down there.

Confused by this story? It's called satire. Designed to make you think.