What Does Your Halloween Candy Say About You?
Some trick-or-treaters are just happy to get candy.
Some, however, are a bit judgmental when it comes to what you give to them.
They actually stop and the end of the walk, look into their bag of goodies and start making comments.
Some of you know what I am talking about because you did it when you were a kid.
Here is how today's kids judge you based on what you put in their candy bags.
HARD CANDIES IN CELLOPHANE WRAPPERS
This is the kind of stuff you have to suck on for an hour to enjoy.
You were probably born before real candy was invented.
Nobody ever makes it to the end of that sort of candy.
Everyone starts to crunch on it to break it up into chunks they can swallow and get it over with.
PENNIES AND OTHER NON-CANDY ITEMS
These people either forgot to buy candy or ate it all before the kids got there.
It's probably that last one.
Nobody showed up asking for fruit like apples and bananas or little boxes of raisins.
That crap will just be thrown out.
Worse yet are the people who hand out toothpaste and toothbrushes.
In the post-Covid era, they will probably hand out hand sanitizer and face masks.
Whatever the case they are buzz kills. Nobody likes these people.
LITTLE CANDY BARS, M&Ms & SKITTLES
That's more like it.
These people know what's going on.
Though just to be clear, even though the package says "FUN SIZE" it's not.
There is nothing "FUN" about a tiny Mars Bar.
You'll have to eat like 6 of those before you start having fun.
CHALK CANDIES LOLLYPOPS & NAME BRANDS NOBODY'S EVER HEARD OF
Obviously, these cheapskates went to the DOLLAR STORE to pick up a bag of candy.
Kids start to feel sorry for you because you are obviously POOR!
Chances are a lot of this stuff is leftover from last Halloween.
The only good use for crap candy like this is to trick your little brother or sister when candy trading.
Don't bother handing out this stuff. Just turn the porch light off and pretend you're not home.
BITTER & SOUR CANDIES
Don't worry, this person is not a serial killer.
A serial killer would try to entice you in with actual good candy.
These people are just CRUEL!
They hate kids and want to hand them something that looks good in its package but probably tastes like sour CRAP!
FULL-SIZE CANDY BARS!
These people get the biggest and loudest "THANK YOU" in the neighborhood.
Word quickly spreads among the tick-or-treaters walking the streets.
"GO TO THAT HOUSE! THEY ARE HANDING OUT THE GOOD STUFF!"
That is the house that will be mentioned by school kids every so often as they pass by, the rest of the year.
Look for a long line at their door next year.
ALTHOUGH - This is where the REAL serial killers probably live.