Won’t Deliver To Wyoming Preppers – SANTA EXPLAINS
"Look, it's hard enough to deliver to Wyoming as it is," Santa explained.
"You try slowing a sled down in those winds. And the turbulence, my HEAVENS. I lose so many toys over the side of the sleigh when we're bouncing around like that."
Complaints have been coming in for years on why Santa skips so many people and spends so little time over Wyoming. So we decided to sit down with the ol' Nick-ster and ask him about it.
"It's not like we are dealing with a bunch of naughty people," he explained. "Wyoming has its fair share of naughty and nice like any other state."
"But, frankly, the deer just don't want to take a chance when so many people still have hunting tags on them."
"Then there are those gosh darn preppers. Pardon my French."
"It's hard enough to find a preppers house as it is. They hide them so well. Then they have all that security and are so trigger-happy... Landing to give gifts to prepper is like trying to sneak into communist China's air space. It's just too dangerous."
"That's a shame because it is so easy to know what preppers want for Christmas. Tinfoil for hats, food that can last for 100 years, ammo. Yeah, preppers are easy if I could only deliver to them without all that risk of losing my life or my deer."
"O-course Wyoming's not the only dangerous place."
"Imagine what it's like to try and land in Los Angeles or Chicago. In fact, I pretty much just avoid cities like those altogether. It's bad enough being shot at. But they tend to strip my sleigh for parts while I'm gone."
Okay but back to Wyoming, Mr. Nick. - Um, Saint Mr. Clause - sir. Is there any way we can make delivering to Wyoming a bit easier? We sure do miss you.
"Would you mind if I deliver in the summer when the winds die down?"
Christmas in July?
"YES! Lets go for that."