How Long Before Wyoming’s First Tourist Mauling of 2023?
We are now closing in on the middle of May.
Yellowstone is open, but we are not yet at the peak of tourist season.
That happens after school gets out.
So, when do you think the first incident between nature and touron will happen?
Looking back at mauling records, when animals have had enough of these idiots and go on the attack, the first usually happens around the beginning of June.
They hit their peak in the middle of August.
Time to start a state-wide pool.
When do you think the first incident will happen?
What kind of animal will attack what kind of person?
First, you pick a beast.
Bear, What kind of bear?
Bison. Mama bison or bull?
Moose?
The list goes on, you get the idea.
Then pick what was going on when the animal attacked.
Protecting their young?
Getting petted without permission?
Just getting too damn close for a picture?
You can make up more.
Then we must pick what kind of tourist we are dealing with.
What part of the country are they from?
Really really really really really FAT tourist?
Perhaps a person who, obviously, was never good at making good decisions.
Stupidly dressed? I mean, honestly, sometimes I think the bison head buts a guy just because of the STUPID shirt he's wearing. I've been tempted to do it myself.
Finally, toss in what kind of an attack it was.
Chase?
Kick?
Mauling?
High toss?
Pick a date and time of the attack.
Let us know by contacting Wyoming's statewide radio talk show Wake Up Wyoming.
In our next state-wide pool we will have you guess how soon someone will scald themselves in the waters of one of Yellowstone's thermal pools. You know, the ones that have all the signs around them warning people to stay clear so they don't get scalded.