Wyoming Talk Show Host Thwarts Murderous Spider

It was attempted MURDER!

I'm sure of it.

My name is Glenn Woods. I host a morning talk show heard on radio stations around Wyoming, as well as live streaming and podcast.

AND I'M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!

There I was, in my bathroom at home, getting ready to go out.

We all tend to feel a little safe at home. BUT THAT'S WHERE THEY GET YOU!

I look down and see behind the toilet a little spider.

It was a tiny one. Smaller than the circumference of a penny, including his legs.

Those are the worse kind.

If it was as big as my toilet I would have grabbed a shovel from my garage and screamed at it, "Let's DO THIS!"

Those little guys, they make you think you're safe.

I decided to ignore the little guy and deal with him later.

I finished brushing my teeth and combing my hair.

Then I pulled my shirt straight and looked down.

There he was, right in the middle of my chest, looking back up at me.

He had made his way across the floor for the entire bathroom, up my pant leg, and to the middle of my chest, without me knowing it.

He was sneaking up to SLIT MY THROAT! I just know it.

To my credit, I did not scream like a little girl, with all due respect to little girls.

I quickly brushed him off.

He fell to the floor and the battle of life and DEATH began.

I stomped, he dodged.

I finally got him with the ball of my foot.

Some might argue that, maybe, he was just coming up to say hello.

Maybe he was friendly and wanted to hang with me or something.

But I swear to you I saw MURDER in all of those eyes.

I almost died that day.