Next to be Canceled: The Grand Tetons

I'll warn you right now that this story is utterly untrue.

But it could happen, so that's why I'm writing it. 

I'd also like to apologize for using the word 'utterly' in the above sentence. It is too close to the name Teton. You'll understand as you read on.

In recent years sports teams, restaurants, food products, have had to change their name due to perceived "insensitivity" by a group of people who pretend to be offended by every little thing, even if it's not even remotely offensive.

This means that sooner or later THE GRAND TETONS will be under attack for how those mountains got their name and what that name really means.

According to written history, told by a bunch of immature giggling men, French-Canadian trappers who gave the mountain range the bawdy name of “Grand Tetons,” meaning “big breasts” in French.

So a few vulgar French men thought those peeks looked like some woman's enormous breasts and so that's what they named it? And I supposed people who did not speak French thought the name sounded exotic and so they went with it. This probably made the vulgar French men laugh all the more.

At some point, those who pretend to be offended will demand a name change. Maybe something like The Big Pointy Things would make them happy. No, that would just make the French laugh even harder.

The Shoshone people who are believed to have lived in and around the range for as long as 10,000 years called the range “Teewinot,” which translates to “many pinnacles,” That still sounds obscene to me.

So now you see why I apologized for using the word "utterly" at the beginning of this article. Anything thing with "utter" in it would remind the giggling French of a cows utter and we would be right back where we started from.

Mark my words, at some point those who pretend to be offended will demand a name change. All that will do is make the French laugh even harder.

I rather like the name the French gave those mountains. All these tourists out there saying THE GRANT TITS when they look at them and they don't even know it. Now that's funny.