How Wyomingites Get Rid Of Squatters

This story is SATIRE. If you don't have a sense of humor, move on.

Edgar lives in a small trailer on a plot of land just big enough to fit that trailer on the edge of town.

It's not much, but it's his. That's the American dream.

He lives just over the city line to avoid city taxes.

NOTE: The small Wyoming town Edgar lives on the edge of calls itself a city, but it's really just another small town. Real cities have millions of people and skyscrapers.

One day Edgar came home to find someone had moved into his trailer.

A SQUATTER!

Like many states, Wyoming has complicated laws involving getting rid of squatters.

Recently Wyoming approved a bill that would give law enforcement the tools they need to deal with home thieves.

But rather than go through the long and complicated process of legally removing a squatter, Edgar had another idea.

At first, he considered moving his trailer to the other side of town, parking on his brother-in-law's property for the winter. Once he was sure the squatter was gone he would move it back.

But then he had a better idea that he thought would be a lot more fun.

Like it or not, Edgar still lived there.

Edgar was already impossible to live with.

But now, Edgar went FULL EDGAR!

He liked to wander around the house in his tighty-whitey underwear that had a few stains.

Sometimes, he wore nothing at all.

The dog was allowed to poop anywhere in the house. Edgar promised to clean it up later when he found it... If he found it.

He promised to take the dog poop out with the trash.

But Edgar never took out the trash.

Because the trashcan was full and had been for 3 years, Edgar just dropped things on the floor, which helped hide the dog poop.

Thankfully the board of health could never come in to inspect the kitchen or bathroom. They would condemn the place.

Edgar likes watching his favorite old gangster movies, the ones with lots of shooting, at full volume at 2 am.

And that's just the beginning of what it is like to live with Edgar.

In under a week, the squatter had moved on.

The moral of the story? Never squat on a Wyoming redneck.