Rules For Using Wyoming Outhouses

YES, there are still outhouses in Wyoming.

Some are the old style, just a small wooden box you sit in over a hole.

Some are much nicer looking and run by the state of Wyoming. But they are still just boxes over a hole in the ground.

If you are out in Wyoming it's because "nature calls."

Sometimes, when you are answering the call of nature - NATURE CALLS.

You know what I mean.

If you have never had to use a Wyoming outhouse before we have just a few simple rules.

We don't call them bathrooms

Nobody is bathing in there, that we know of. It's really a gross idea if you think about it.

We don't call them restrooms

Nobody is resting in there. Unless they fell asleep while waiting for - whatever - to happen.

Leave it like you found it

Do not leave a mess for the next person. Be an adult about it.

Put the lid down when you are done

It keeps the flies and the stink down in there.

Go ahead and sing

Our outhouses have great acoustics. You'll be surprised how good you sound and everyone outside wants to record that audio for TikTok.

Shut the door on your way out

If you don't, varments get in. That can be a really scary experience for the next person.

If you drop your phone down in there, LEAVE IT!

That's actually been an issue here in Wyoming.

Think I'm kidding about the phone? Here is a story from a couple of years ago.

Naked Man Gets Stuck Retrieving Phone From Yellowstone Outhouse.

I'll just come out and say it, If my phone dropped down into a Yellowstone park CRAPPER, I'd call it a loss and go get a new phone.

This week the following post appeared on the Facebook page, "Yellowstone, Invasion of the Idiots."

It looks like somebody got undressed and went down there after a lost phone.

You might think, maybe there was not much - um - CRAP and stuff down there. I DON'T CARE! There's enough on the walls of the tank that I'm still not going in.

You can see his clothes hanging on the door. He went in NAKED. Is that smarter or dumber?

Apparently, this is not the only time something like this has happened. One of the comments tells us that there have been other such events in parks across America.

REALLY PEOPLE - come on you are not making Americans look good.

Actually, I seemed to remember that story so I went looking for it.

BRINNON, Calif. (KION-TV)-- The Brinnon Fire Department and Quilcene Fire Rescue helped a woman in her 40s who fell into a vault toilet after dropping her cell phone inside it.

There are many lessons we can learn from this.

One of them might be, don't play with your phone while on the crapper.

There is a scene from the classic TV show M.A.S.H. where Corporal Radar O'Reilly is having trouble seeing and is asked where his glasses are.

"I dropped them in the latrine sir, and I don't really want them back."

Even if this guy does get his phone back he would have to clean it. Not even sure if I'd want to do that.

One final rule and this is mostly for Wyoming residents.

PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT HOLES IN WYOMING'S OUTHOUSES!

See that crapper by the lake? Its metal doors are full of bullet holes. You can see them in the photos below.

Golden Eye. It's a weird name for a Wyoming reservoir.

It makes a person wonder if whoever named it was a fan of the James Bond movie.

Located in western Natrona County Wyoming the little body of water is about as unremarkable as you might think it is when you look at the photo above.

Yet the state of Wyoming thought to put a parking area out there, a couple of picnic tables, and his and hers crapper.

YUP! The place is BORING. 

So boring that some bored yahoos decided to have a few beers, then a few more, and shoot the place up.

I gave the shooters the benefit of the doubt at first.

Maybe one of their friends was constipated and they decided to scare the crap out of him.

But then again, probably not. It has to be nothing more than beer, boredom, and guns.

Upon inspecting the doors I noticed that not all of the bullets made it through to the other side.

Those bullets that did make it through were probably found sitting on the cement floor or stuck in the back wall.

It looks as if someone from the park service tried to fill some of the holes.

That's probably a good thing.

Not so much because of peepers but because the doors face the prevailing winds.

Those holes in the ground are drafty enough, underneath.

We really don't need more wind coming in while we are sitting there.

Whoever was shooting out there knew that there was no way they would be caught. Gunshots are common out that way and no one thinks much of it. In most cases, there is no one around at all to hear it.

There is a heck of an echo inside these outhouses.

It might not have sounded like much outside, but inside, - WOW!

Looking at these photos I wonder if the park service will ever bother touching up the paint job.

Look, I know you live in a part of Wyoming where there isn't much to do on a Saturday night. Also, this is Wyoming so drinking and shooting guns for fun is common.

But can we please not shoot up the crappers?

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Like much of Wyoming this park is a place where there is nowhere to hide when someone had to relieve the call of nature.

A crapper way out here is like an oasis in the desert.

Though one you poop into, not drink out of.

No one in Wyoming will fault you for wanting to drink and shoot.

Just - please - don't shoot up the only crapper on the prairie.