Try The Most BEAUTIFUL State Run Toilet In Wyoming
This is the second post in my USLESS series on Wyoming rest stops.
Really, who wants to read about public toilets?
This time we stop at one of Wyoming's most expensive and most USLESS rest stops.
The North East Wyoming Welcome Center.
Located on Interstate 90, just west of South Dakota, is a massive museum and toilet facility that was built in the DUMBEST possible place.
You won't find it if you just left South Dakota and entered Wyoming. You'll have to drive for a while.
Then, there it is! (If you can see it from the highway, you might miss it).
If you manage to see the signs, good luck.
Take the exit ramp, down to Highway 111, then right on to old U.S. 14 then find the entrance to a long route up a hill to the center.
Why not just make it down an off-ramp?
This center costs the taxpayers a lot of money.
But most people don't really need to stop here, because there are convenience stores at various exits that are easier to get to and have food plus toilets.
There is a tasteful little museum inside and a helpful employee to tell you about Wyoming. You know, all the things you've already read off your cell phone.
To be fair, it is a nice little museum.
The people behind the counter are friendly and helpful.
This helpful video, below, will take you inside so you don't have to go through all the work of trying to get off the interstate to see this place for yourself.
I've pulled in there a few times, mostly just to see how many people are in there.
I've driven by many times and looked to see how many cars are in the parking lot.
My impression is that the place gets moderate to slow business.
BUT THE TOILETS ARE FANTASTIC!
Honestly, I've never seen nicer toilets in any rest stop in America.
Wyoming can be proud of that.
Wyoming is also very proud of how energy-efficient the building is, and the spectacular architecture.
It really is a nice-looking building.
It's worth stopping in at least once to see where your tax dollars went.
Also, enjoy the nice crappers you've ever sat on.
Other than that I never stop here.
For one, it's too much of a hassle to get off the highway and up to this place.
Also, I prefer to stop at a store and spend a little money at a local business.
While we are on the topic of public rest stops...
PLEASE STOP SHOOTING HOLES IN WYOMING OUTHOUSES!
See that crapper by the lake? It's metal doors are full of bullet holes. You can see them in the photos below.
Golden Eye. It's a weird name for a Wyoming reservoir. It makes a person wonder if whoever named it was a fan of the James Bond movie.
Located in western Natrona Country Wyoming the little body of water is about as unremarkable as you might think it is when you look at the photo above.
Yet the state of Wyoming thought to put a parking area out there, a couple of picnic tables, and a his and hers crapper.
YUP! The place is BORING.
So boring that some bored yahoos decided to have a few beers, then a few more, and shoot the place up.
I gave the shooters the benefit of the doubt at first. Maybe one of their friends was constipated and they decided to scare the crap out of him.
But then again, probably not. It has to be nothing more than beer, boredom, and guns.
Upon inspecting the doors I noticed that not all of the bullets made it through to the other side.
Those bullets that did make it through were probably found sitting on the cement floor or stuck in the back wall.
It looks as if someone from the park service tried to fill some of the holes. That's probably a good thing. Not so much because of peepers but because the doors face the prevailing winds.
Those holes in the ground are drafty enough, underneath. We really don't need more wind coming in while we are sitting there.
Whoever was shooting out there knew that there was no way they would be caught. Gunshots are common out that way and no one thinks much of it. In most cases, there is no one around at all to hear it.
There is a heck of an echo inside these outhouses. It might not have sounded like much outside, but inside, - WOW!
Looking at these photos I wonder if the park service will ever bother touching up the paint job.
Look, I know you live in a part of Wyoming where there isn't much to do on a Saturday night. Also, this is Wyoming so drinking and shooting guns for fun is common.
But can we please not shoot up the crappers?
Like much of Wyoming this park is a place where there is nowhere to hide when someone had to relieve the call of nature.
A crapper way out here is like an oasis in the desert. Though one you poop into, not drink out of.
No one in Wyoming will fault you for wanting to drink and shoot.
Just - please - don't shoot up the only crapper on the prairie.
In the video below, you will see one of the most horrific tragedies Wyoming winds have wrought.
Imagine being alone on the prairie - no, not the prairie, but more like a desert region of this vast and beautiful state.
Nature calls you. By that, I do not mean the sound of nature, that haunting voice in your mind that beckoned you out to explore this magnificent desolate creation by God's hand. I mean - the other "nature calls." The one that cannot be ignored.
But where, way out here, can a person modestly - squat - to answer that call? The land is flat and open as far as the eye can see. True there is nobody for well over a hundred miles at least. But you know the cruel temperament and evil humor of lady luck. The moment you assume the most vulnerable posture, one that you cannot relax nor retreat from, someone will arrive to see you.
Perhaps that is why there is an outhouse way out here. Someone saw the need, and built one. According to the sign nearby, this land is a state park. Was our government watching out for our best interest even way out here?
It was just a simple wooden structure. But because it was government built, it must have cost over a million dollars, at least.
But the winds - those Wyoming winds. Like the haunting song about her, the Wyoming wind blows, unchanged, and it has tipped over the old wooden outhouse.
Yes, the only place a civilized person would feel safe in over a hundred miles to drop trouser and -- it lays on its side, in the vast open sage of Wyoming.
Video of this tragedy below.