Stop Shooting At My Reindeer – Santa Asks Wyoming Hunters
"It's like back when I had to fly over Germany during WWII," Santa sighed in frustration.
"Wyoming is probably the worse state of all. Some of those hunters down there have tags and are still allowed to bag one, and there I go flying overhead with 8 of them."
A frustrated Santa sat down with us to talk about the most dangerous places he has ever had to deliver toys to.
"To be honest," Santa went on, "I don't think all of those boys shooting at me actually have tags. I think I lot of them just see a healthy reindeer in the sky and just can't help themselves."
So I bet that puts them on the naughty list right then and there.
"If someone is shooting at my 8 as I fly over they were probably already on the naughty list."
Is it that they have had a few too many beers or that they just can't help themselves?
"Little of both," sighed Santa. "I've tried to make it harder for them by getting Rudolf to turn off that blasted red beacon. That just helps those rednecks to sight us in."
"By the way, you should hear what all that gunfire sounds like from up there over your town. WOW some of you Wyomingites have big guns and they all start shooting at once. IT GETS REALLY LOUD!"
"I look down and see all those mussel flashes and I know I'm over some ranch where they were sitting out in their camo, just waiting for us to come over."
"You should hear their sick jokes, I'M GONIG TO BLAST BLIXEN and crap like that. Who raised these men anyway?"
Have you or the 8 ever taken a hit?
"So far the boys have been lucky. They are faster than they look, having to make it round the earth in one night means they can really blow when they need to go."
"I used to try to be stealthy over Wyoming but I found the best way to do it is just drop and go. Especially if I see and hear gunfire. Sometimes I just drop the toys over the side and never stop."
"That's a real problem if they asked for more guns and ammo for Christmas, which they usually do, being Wyoming and all. That just gives them more to shoot at me with so, I just don't even slow down."
Are the places more dangerous to fly over than Wyoming?
"Los Angeles and Chicago. But not because they are trying to hit us. Heck, I'm just flying over those places. No one there is getting any presents. Talk about NAUGHTY."
"No the problem with those cities is all the shooting always going on all the time there are always hundreds of random bullets in the air."
Well, I hope your trip over Wyoming is a bit quieter this year.
"I get shot at one more time over Wyoming I'm calling Fish & Game. SO WATCH IT!"