Cowboy Who Slapped Wyoming Tourist Empathizes With Will Smith
"Some people just need SLAPPIN'!" Said Rusty Wagner of Yoder Wyoming.
"Guy insults your wife, WHAP! Frankly, I think that Chris Rock fella should have seen it coming."
"Just like that New York yahoo who came round these parts insulting us. He just pulled into our little town of Yoder Wyoming and gets out, scratching his head and making all sorts of comments on the dumb suckers who live in a place like this. Only he didn't say SUCKERS!"
Yoder Wyoming is a little town in the southeast corner of the state. You can see it at this link. It's no wonder someone from a major city would not understand.
"He's laughing. He's taking pictures. He says that he can't wait to tell everyone back home how these uneducated, unsophisticated DIP TRIPS. Only he didn't say TRIPS!"
"So many people that ain't from here - come here - and don't understand what they are seeing. So they start insulting it."
"Well for the record we don't understand how they can let people poop on their sidewalks. How about them apples, ya big jerk from The Big Apple!"
"So anywho, this fella is assuming that we are all just a bunch of stupid hicks from the sticks. But if you look around Yoder Wyoming, we don't have any trees. So, no sticks."
"He's taking pictures. He's laughing and making comments. The town folks are starting to get really annoyed."
"SO I WALKED RIGHT UP TO HIM AND I SLAPPED HIM. Just like that actor, Will Smith slapped that Chris Rock fella when he was cracking jokes about something he knew nothing about."
"I weren't skeeret or him or nutten. I once slapped a prize bull and sent him back to his pen. Some slack muscle New Yorker ain't scaring me."
"Oh, you should have seen the expression on his face. He was so shocked."
"Then he yells, 'I'M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!'"
"So I tell him, we don't have any cops in Yoder. He's on his own. So he might want to watch his gosh-danged manners. Only I didn't say 'gosh dang.'"
"So he asks, 'did you defund the cops?'"
"NO!" I sez to him. "We can't afford any in the first place."
"But that's okay. We know how to handle our own business."
"THAT'S WHY EVERYONE AROUND HERE IS REAL POLITE, UNLIKE RUDE NEW YORKERS!"
"Well at that point he just gets in his car and drives off in a cloud of dust. Most of Yoder ain't paved, so, lots of dust."
"What I don't understand is why he was here and not at some major tourist area in Wyoming. Maybe he just wanted to see what people out here were like."