7 Lame New Year Resolutions That Are Easy To Keep

New Year's resolutions are meant to be broken.

So let's resolve to make a few that we know we will never keep.

I mean, why keep lying to ourselves every year?

So let's line up some resolutions that we know we can keep.

If we set the bar low then it's easy to keep them, right?

1). I resolve to not make any more resolutions.

If you think about it, make you are breaking that one as you make it. You can't make a resolution about not making any because that is a resolution.

2). I resolve to be .0067% nicer to people.

That's better than I did last year. But who's counting?

3). Resolve to stop hanging with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolution.

These are the same people who ask me every Thanksgiving what I'm thankful for. I always tell them that I'm thankful that I don't have to answer that question. Refer back to #1 as to why that doesn't work.

4). I resolve to eat more.

Since resolving to eat less food always works in reverse, I resolve to eat more food. Let's see how that plays out.

5). I resolve to be more judgmental of people who actually go to the gym and are in good shape.

I won't get healthier that way but it will make me feel better.

6). I promise not to spend so much of my own money.

I'll spend other people's money.

7). I promise not to run any more red lights.

If I hurry up I'm sure I can make the yellows.

Well, there are 7 good ones.

How many have you broken so far?

Whatever you decide to do, you better hurry up. As we get older the years just seem to pass by faster.

I'm still working on 2019 and here comes 2023.