WATCH: Idiot Charges Another Bear – Bear Charges Back
This is the same guy you might have seen a week ago, charging a bear.
Authorities are looking for him.
Partly because it's illegal to harass park animals.
Partly because they want to stop this guy before he gets himself killed.
It's also a bad example to anyone who might be watching and get the "bright idea" that this is something to do.
First lets take a look at his latest dumb charge.
This second attempt does not go so well.
The bear is willing to accept the challenge.
YOU WANT TO DO THIS BRO!
YOU COMING AT ME BRO!
LET'S GO, DUDE!
That's what I assume the bear is saying.
The first time he did this the bear he charged ran away.
That's not going to happen every time.
Yellowstone authorities are looking for the man on video harassing bears in Yellowstone.
The idiot charging the bear, and his idiot friend, think this is funny.
Until it gets real and he gets MAULED!
Below is the first video we have of him charging a bear.
This one looks like a grizzly.
It's bad enough we have to deal with stupid tourists trying to pet the fluffy cows.
Please, people, let's NOT start doing this.
This brings us back to a famous video, which should be much more famous than it is.
HANK PATTERSON'S, Surviving Yellowstone.
The video is done tongue-in-cheek.
But it makes a great point as to why people have ZERO common sense regarding wildlife.
Please share this video with as many people as you can.
But if you are still determined to challenge a bear, well, FINE!
Here is a handy guide on how to fight a bear and win.
Please keep in mind, as we give you this advice, that this is HORRIBLE advice.
If you actually take this advice then you are dumber than the guy in the above videos.
Having issued our disclaimer, we now begin.
That statement above is SO TRUE!
You can literally use anything you can think of and nobody is going to call you out for bad sportsmanship.
Just be warned that bears understand this too.
So expect the bear to fight dirty.
The good news is that you'll probably be able to think of more clever ideas on how to fight dirty than the bears. Unless you're frozen in panic, then the bear has the advantage.
Step 2 is actually good advice. Don't run. Bears love to chase things kind of like cats do.
But I'm not so sure about this next step.
You'll just have to see what I mean by watching the video.
You can try to freak out the bear with puzzles and quizzes but most bears are pretty good at that kind of stuff.
DO NOT engage the bear in a game of Trivial Pursuit. You'll lose.
I'm betting I can beat a bear at chess. But maybe not checkers.
Step 11 only works if you have some back knowledge of the bear's personal life.
I'm not sure I'd go here because I don't know too many bears personally.
Then again you'd have to ask what the bear might know about you.
What if the bear has some dirt on you that outdoes the dirt you have on him?
If all this seems odd, wait till you watch the video. It does not end the way you think.
The end of the video takes you to the bear's home planet in the bear spaceship.
YEAH - told you it got weird.
The video is below. ENJOY!
OH and - don't take any of this advice. REALLY - don't.
Not enough for you?
Need a bigger challenge?
You're either more of a man or more of an idiot than anyone imagined.
Let's have a look at how to fight a pack of WOLVES!
AGAIN - Disclaimer - we are suggesting you DO NOT do anything you see here.
And now we begin...
There you are minding your own business, just walking in Wyoming, when suddenly you are attacked by a pack of wolves.
This is probably better than being attacked in one of America's big cities by a pack of thugs.
Actually, maybe not. The wolves are smarter.
So now what do you do?
The video below explains how to do battle with the entire pack and win, leaving the fuzzy beasts confused and humiliated.
If you are going hiking in the Wyoming wilderness this summer I suggest you practice these techniques before you go.
Remember, always go camping with friends who are more out of shape than you, so you can outrun them if attacked by wild animals.
Kick the first wolf in the face.
Send it into the air.
Catch it and throw it at the other wolves.
That should shock them and it shows your intentions and skills at fighting.
Grab some dirt, throw it in another wolfs face.
Use the TV wrestlers SUFLEC maneuver.
Throw him into another wolf.
Showing such dominance will cause the others to scatter.
If you passed your drivers license test the first time this should be easy for you.
I'm actually not sure how these techniques would work in real life.
Maybe, someday, I'll get a chance to try it when I'm walking alone in the great Wyoming Wilderness.
If I get back to you then you know I survived and it worked.
The photo below is a demonstration of the TV Wrestler SUFLEX maneuver.
But this guy's on the internet and calls himself an "EXPERT." So he must be right.
He's even on TikTok. So - how can we doubt him?
Come back for more on how to beat up bears and mountain lions.
Even a video on how to handle annoying tourists from New York City.