Yellowstone Begins Capture & Relocation Of Dumbest Tourist
Recently Yellowstone National Park announced it will continue grizzly bear capture and relocation operations from Aug. 28 to Oct. 23.
But shortly after the announcement, someone at the park service office spoke up and said, "You know, it's not like the grizzly, or the bison for that matter, are really the problem here."
In a moment of unabashed honesty, the park service employee began a segment describing the tourist population as "the dumbest creatures nature has ever seen."
"I mean, lets face it," he went on, "everything in the park is just fine until those rock-for-brains show up. If we really want to restore the natural order of things then why the hell are we getting rid of the creatures that belong here?"
There was not a person in the room who had not thought this before. This was the first time anyone dared to say it out loud.
"We can make port-a-potty traps," suggested one ranger. "Sooner or later they are all going to use it.
"Yes but, don't we only want to trap the dumb ones?" suggested a young blond haired ranger.
"What if we put out traps that look like the most lovable, pet-able, big fluffy creatures you have ever seen, but, in fact, they are the trap? Only the dumbest ones are dumb enough to go and pet them."
The next few hours were spent devising the perfect "tourist trap." But once done they had to confront the next problem: where to relocate them.
"Wherever we decide on, we need to tag them first, so we can spot them if they come wandering back.."
At this time, no official decision has been made.
(This article is satirical. But you wish it were true, don't you?)