Here we go.

The grass is growing and you're going to need to cut it.

So put that snow blower in the back of the garage and move the lawn mower to the front.

While we are at it, here are a few essential lawnmower jokes you'll need this summer.

WARNING: I did not say that these jokes were good. Many of these jokes are dad jokes, so, consider the source. Not responsible for rolling eyes and heavy sighs.

1). A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is
blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.

2). Husbands are like lawnmowers because they are difficult to get started, and then they don't work half the time.

3). I'll say this much for snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as
your neighbor's.

4). Why do you water your lawn with whisky?
So it comes up half-cut.


5). My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower. I said yes, as long as he didn't take it out of my yard.

CAUTION: This next joke REALLY SUCKS and is a total DAD JOKE!

Don't bother reading it.

Really, just skip it.

6). What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.

I am so sorry you saw that joke.

I warned you though, didn't I?

teenage girl working in garden, mowing grass with lawn-mower
Aigars Reinholds

7). I put an old lawn mower out on the street, with a “FREE” sign next to it.
Somebody came and took the sign, but left the mower.

8). What do you call a bluebird who’s got run over by a lawn mower?
Shredded tweet

9). Tesla have just announced their new lawn mower: E Lawn.
(Get it? Elon Musk? NEVERMIND!)

10). Why was the lawn mower kicked out of training?
Unfortunately, he didn't make the cut.

WOW - that last one was REALLY BAD.

So sorry.

I'll quit now.

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