Satire Website Posts Photo of Anvil Squashing Wyoming
"The Onion," the satire publication that bills itself "America's Finest News Source," dropped a hugely bigly story Thursday morning.
That's because it published a photo of a hugely bigly 97,000-square-mile anvil that dropped on Wyoming and apparently northern Colorado.
The result was that the "average American life expectancy falls one year" after the event, presumably because the state's roughly 580,000 residents are no more.
The aerial photo does not have any further explanation of the origin of the anvil, nor does The Onion cite any source for the average life expectancy drop perhaps because the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has been busy with that COVID-19 thing.
Spokespersons for ACME Corp., and Wile E. Coyote could not be reached for comment, either.
Curiously, the photo comes three days after the first episode of the NBC show "Debris," a sci-fi show with an unusual premise about an alien spacecraft that disintegrate over the Earth, according to the plot summary on the network's website.
"When mysterious wreckage starts falling from the sky, a secretive international agency is tasked with figuring out what it is, where it came from, and most importantly… what it can do.... Each fragment has unpredictable, powerful and sometimes dangerous effects on the everyday people who find it. Every discovery is also a race against time, because shadowy outside forces seek these objects for nefarious purposes."
So far, most of the pieces found in the first episode are small.
The anvil isn't.
Which raises a question about the size of the alien spacecraft itself.
Is it possible -- well, anything is possible -- that the anvil fell from the alien spacecraft's blacksmith shop?
So will our beloved planet soon be pummeled by some mighty big horses, or whatever aliens ride?
Despite the squishing of our state, there could be a silver, or rather iron, lining to all this that would solve the current budget crisis.
Some legal issues would need to be worked out, primarily whether the feds would own this like they do half the land in Wyoming.
After that's resolved, some sort of public-private partnership would need to be formed to figure out how to mine the anvil so Wyoming could be the world leader in ferrous materials.
If you're reading this, it means it missed you.