"RESOLUTIONS? I don't need no stinking resolutions!" grumbles Greg Vargas of Glenrock, Wyoming.

Looking around his home we had the impression that maybe he needed to make a lot of resolutions but was just too lazy.

"I'm fine the way I am." he barked. "Are you saying something's wrong with me?"

Greg is in his middle thirties, divorced. Each girlfriend he gets, which isn't often, only dates him for about a week then runs for it.

We are not sure how he managed it but Greg has 6 kids with 7 different women, and he owes child support to them all.

A guy flung all over the couch

You might find Greg shopping at Glenrock's new Dollar store, but not often. Greg thinks of that place has too high class for an average guy like him.

"Let that Dollar store age a few decades and maybe I'll go there to shop," he said. Right now it's all fancy and new.

Lucky Greg's daytime job is a filthy one because he does not have ANY clean clothes in his crappy single-wide trailer.

By the way, his single wide was condemned by the county two years ago. We asked him if he was going to get around to repairing it at some point.

"That sounds like a resolution to me," he grumbled.

"I AM LIVING THE DREAM!" Greg screamed at us from his old broken-down sofa.

fat guy passed out hard on the couch

We are not sure what dream this is supposed to be. Maybe the one where a person doesn't have to worry about ever taking a bath, or life goals, or money, or even getting off the sofa.

We had a few questions for Greg but he stretched out to take a nap until his next least favorite show came on television.

"Prop the door closed with that cinderblock on the way out," he said as he closed his eyes. "The hinges are busted and that's the only thing that keeps it from falling open."

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