Dumb Ways Wyomingites Spend Snow Days
No matter how the forecast shakes out for this weekend it will be &%$# COLD in Wyoming.
Some of you will get snow with that cold.
Watch for wind in some areas and blowing snow.
That means you're stuck inside... NOW WHAT?
Time to make a to-do list.
But you're lying to yourself about that list.
First let's make some promises to be productive, knowing full well that you're lying to yourself and anyone who heard you say that out loud.
Go outside and clear that snow.
WAIT! It's just going to snow more, so why bother?
Don't be that guy who's outside working his butt off to clear snow. You're making everybody else look bad and they hate you for it. Don't make your neighbors hate you.
Swear you're going to clean out that closet. THEN DON'T.
Think about vacuuming, dusting, organizing. THEN DON'T.
There were all those projects and New Year Resolutions you were going to get done. BUT YOU WON'T.
Okay, how about some realistic suggestions?
1. You're a Wyomingite. Get your butt outside anyway and find a way to enjoy it.
2. Don't even look at suggestion #1, that's just STUPID!
3. Line up what you're going to binge-watch.
4. Make yourself ready for hours on your favorite video game.
5. Some people still READ you know.
WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU MUST BUY SNACKS IN ADVANCE.
Don't feel so bad, napping is important.
Besides, if the weather is bad then local officials would prefer that you stay home. So, you see, you're doing your community a favor by staying inside and out of trouble. What a good citizen you are.
Do you have a pet? How much time do you spend with it? You have some catching up to do and your pet will love you for it.
Think of this as family time. Family time is important. What a good person you're being.
You know there's a lot of old food in the house that needs to be eaten before it goes bad. Better get to that.
Did I mention that naps are important for your health?
Your boss wants you well rested for Monday. See how productive you're being?
Now go have a great weekend.